Dr. Yukari’s Listening Lounge #7-2, Unwanted Gifts

[ Dr. Yukari’s Listening Lounge ]

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Guided by the hope of St. Nichiren, we continue to work towards a peaceful society.  Honolulu Myohoji Mission collaborates with Psychologist Dr. Yukari Kunisue, a trained and experienced therapeutic life coach, to offer a safe online space: Dr. Yukari’s Listening Lounge



The previous story about the Buddha’s unwanted gift is something I wanted to share with a particular female client. 


She was a middle-aged professional working in the banking industry. The client was not sure what to do with her feelings when the colleague criticizes her. My client explained that the older colleague often reminded her of her overly critical mother.


While she appreciates the constructive criticism, she also recognizes the harmful effects of her condescending tone. Whenever she would receive comments from her colleague, my client often felt at a loss for words and unable to explain her perspective on the situation. During these times, my client felt defeated, which resulted in low self-esteem. At this point, she is now assigned to a new project where she is required to work closely with the colleague. 


After sharing her story, she asked if her reasons for feeling this way had to do with the similarities she noticed between the colleague and her mother. To this I shared the Buddha’s story of unwanted gifts. 


The Buddha tells us that you do have a choice when it comes to accepting or rejecting any unwanted gifts. Whether it is rotten foods, rude words, or condescending criticism, take a moment to see if you can reject the gift at your own will. Always remember, that YOU can decide to accept, keep, or reject what is at hand. 


Final note: At the same time, whether it is my client or you, it is entirely up to you if you would like to accept or reject my “advice”.