Dr. Yukari’s Listening Lounge #11-2, Rejection Proof

[ Dr. Yukari’s Listening Lounge ]

Consultations will be available to discuss your challenges and worries faced in daily life involving family, relationships, anxiety, stress, grief & loss.

The first 2 sessions are free of charge. Contact us at the address below for any questions or to reserve your 60-minute zoom session.

Email: info@honolulumyohoji.org

Guided by the hope of St. Nichiren, we continue to work towards a peaceful society. Honolulu Myohoji Mission collaborates with Psychologist Dr. Yukari Kunisue, a trained and experienced therapeutic life coach, to offer a safe online space: Dr. Yukari’s Listening Lounge


Jia Jiang overcame his initial fear of rejection through practice, and later managed to start to listen to why others have rejected his requests. It is important for him to remember that a decline to his request, was not a direct rejection to him. With this being said, each time he heard various reasons that resulted in his rejection, he began to separate his sense of defeat to the opposing reasons. From this, he learned to make a “no” into a “maybe” or even a “yes”.


Another day’s assignment was to ask for custom donuts at a famous donut chain: Krispy Kreme Donuts. This scenario involved him requesting five colored donuts resembling the Olympic rings, alternating in blue, yellow, black, green, and red. The donut shop manager came out and listened to his request attentively. Despite having to wait a while, the manager granted his wish, and made the Olympic colored donuts for him. This request became viral, bringing attention to his rejection practice.


Jia Jiang’s story reminded me of a client my supervisor used to meet. Since the client was a young man, he had been suffering from insomnia and anxiety. For years, he had the same peculiar dream. During this dream, he was chased by a lioness, sometimes in the Sahara Desert, a rainforest, or even in the mountains of Africa. Each time, he ran so hard to escape from the lioness. This on-going struggle resulted in his chronic insomnia. One day, he was so exhausted in his dream that he decided to surrender. He thought, 


“I don’t care anymore if the lioness eats me alive. So be it. I am too tired!” 


Then, an interesting thing happened within his dream. The lioness stopped, and told him that she was his protector and wanted to communicate that to him for years. 


After this last dream, the client stopped feeling constant anxiety and slept without fear. He slept comfortably knowing that the animal in his dream was always protecting him. All he had to do was stop and face it.


We are all familiar with the discomfort of fear and rejection. Nonetheless, we manage to live with it. It is also important to remember that fear is often scarier than the reality of the rejection itself. Similar to Jia Jiang’s five ring donuts, only if you ask for it, might you receive it. You never know until you try…